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Showing posts from July, 2011

Sexual Assault /Rape is Domestic Violence! A Poem about Rape

I feel like I don't have anything left, not even the shirt on my back.
I have no one to turn to as I lay here uneasy without feeling,without knowing who I am anymore. Somebody took that away from me, when they decided they wanted to lay with me.
No remorse,they had their way with me. They didn't even stop to think if they were hurting me,
It didn't matter to him, he only wanted me. I couldn't even scream, is this how its suppose to be?
The first time a man decides to lay with me?
Tears roll down my eyes, but even they got tired of being..no more tears..all dried up..its just my blood and me..man how could somebody who called themselves a MAN..do that to me.
One thing I learned though is to pray for my enemies.
This life isn't promise to him or me but to do what he did,I knew God had a plan for me.
To rise up and become stronger than I knew I needed to be.
No it didn't happened that fast,it took about 3 yrs for me.
Treatment facilities, shelters, th…

Can one be a victim and a survivor at the same time?

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As I was sitting back thinking about domestic violence as a whole and the healing process that one has to go through. I started thinking to myself, can one be a victim and a survivor at the same time? I did think about this carefully and what occurred to me is this: YES one can be both at the same time because he or she can be a victim(in their mind) BUT a survivor(at heart). What does this mean though? How can one be a victim in their mind but a survivor in their heart? How does that happen exactly? Well for some the healing process takes longer than others but a victim starts becoming a survivor once they have accepted the fact that they did not deserve to go through what they went through, that they deserve better and they will get better but it is still a process.

Often times domestic violence has a serve effect on the victim and although they know in their heart and it is apparent that God gave them the strength to leave and they are now free and have moved on in and with their l…

Emotional Abuse Is Domestic Violence and it is NOT ok.

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Many times when domestic violence is thought of it is not though of as being emotional abuse and this is where this blog stems from. It is important to understand and realize that verbal/emotional abuse is not okay. Most people who have experienced some from of verbal or emotional abuse do not even realize that it is in fact abuse because it is downplayed. A lot of definitions in the past use to only include physical abuse. It is almost important to realize the impact of emotional abuse because usually emotional abuse starts first and then physical abuse follows, it would be helpful for the victim to be able to realize signs quicker if the victim knew how serious verbal abuse is. Again, I wanted to personal speak out and say that it is NOT okay to be emotionally, verbally, mentally let alone physically abused.

IF you are in a relationship with someone, it is NOT OK for them to call you out your name or disrespect you in ANY kind of way. You are nobody's b**ch, hoe, slut, etc, you …

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT:FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN

Many times when someone or something makes us mad, we tend to argue and some even fight about it. These days there is a bunch of violence not only domestic but just in general. The consensus is people get mad and they fight(not all people of course) but how about we get mad and fight AGAINST fighting. Do you understand what I'm saying? So many people have lost and are losing their lives to violence in general whether it be domestic violence, gun violence, riots, physical violence, some violence even leads to suicide. Some people get tired of being emotionally abused or just going through the trials of life that they commit suicide. So what is all the fighting about? What good is that doing in the world period? Its not doing any good. Do you believe that women and men should abuse each other? Do you believe in child abuse, elder abuse or family abuse? Do you believe in emotional abuse? Do you believe in senseless killings? If not? why not take a stand against it? Why are not we com…

DON'T SAY THAT IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO YOU

A lot of times when we ear, see, or read stories about things in general that have happened, when tend to think " that will never happen to me" or we start to say how we would have handled the situation differently. When it comes to domestic violence most of reactions received are negative. Some say things like the victim is stupid, why would the victim stay after being abused or I would never let anyone put there hands on me or talk to me crazy". These are typical responses when hearing a story involving domestic violence. I always like to point out the fact that we will NEVER know  what we will do in a situation until it is actually presented to us and I pray that those who have never experienced domestic violence or any other violence will have too. I tend to believe that if we can learn from someone's testimony/story then we should.

If you ever thought for a moment that you couldn't be in a domestic violence situation then lets think about some scenarios bec…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A WHOLE

This blog was inspired from a previous conversation that I had. For a couple of months now I have been slowly but surely become an advocate for domestic violence as well as other causes. There are many misconceptions of domestic violence. I believe in order to truly combat/stop domestic violence we have to be able to understand domestic violence as a whole. Now these are just my thoughts and opinions on the issue of domestic violence. For many, people have begun to wonder if domestic violence is something that can in fact be stopped, I have come to believe that there is a solution to every problem. I truly believe that ALL things are possible through Jesus Christ because He tells us that in His word. The problem that we face with the issue of domestic violence is NOT in people but with the way domestic violence is handled. As I mentioned previously, there are some misconceptions of domestic violence. One of the biggest misconceptions of domestic violence is that it is only physical th…