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Showing posts from January, 2014

Is The Law Failing Domestic Violence Victims/Survivors

I hope that this post does not causes an uproar, but this is something that really needs to be discussed. I am not here to pass judgment in anyway, I am just simply here to state my opinion, explore a topic, and to start a discussion. There is something that has been troubling me lately and that something is the number of recent cases of children being killed under court-order supervision. I start to wonder how does that happen? Then I started to think about domestic violence and the laws in general. You see the law makers want us to uphold these laws and follow through, but they do not enforce the laws. It seems that LAW ENFORCEMENT has slowly disappeared.

This is not to say that this is the case for everyone, but it is the case for most. The law tells those who are experiencing domestic violence to leave and get a restraining order. The restraining order is suppose to mean that the abuser cannot come near them, they also tell the person who is being abused not to have any contact w…

Pro-Wrestling Personality Goldy Knows Allows Domestic Violence Survivor Mary To Shine During Interview!

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Yesterday, something amazing happened. Before I continue on with that I want to again say a huge THANK YOU to all my readers, you are the reason why I continue to write. The best thing about blogging is one never really knows who is reading and what will come from it. I started this blog because I was encouraged to start blogging. The only subject that I could think of (at first) was domestic violence and I am so glad that I did it!

Anyway, back to yesterday. I received a comment on my blog from Goldy Knows. For those who do not know, Goldy knows is a pro-wrestling personality, a motivational speaker, a singer, as well as a host of other things. Goldy is really big on Charity and now has her own reality show. In the comment that Goldy left, there was link to her show and on this particular show she interviewed a domestic violence survivor named Mary.




I love to help and work with anybody who is supporting this cause, In fact, I love to help and support any cause, because you never kno…

Words Can Do More Than Hurt, They Can Damage

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" How many of you remember quoting this? I remember as a little kids learning this phrase from someone at school and then chanting it myself. How soon, do we find that this is absolutely far from the truth?

In fact, words could possibly do more damage than a stick could depending on the situation. I think how many times I have been or heard stories about people who have been scarred from some words that were said to them. Even sometimes, we hurt people with out words. I think about how many people especially when it comes to relationships have been told something disrespectful and believed it. Sometimes they believe to the point that they becomes someone else or they shut down. Being told that you are ugly, fat, too skinny, stupid, dumb, or even worst than that you really damage someone. While some people can quickly overcome hearing things like this, it takes others a long time.

If you pay attention to anyway…

Trouble Doesn't Last Always

This post stems from the winter weather that some of us have been having. Here in Chicago, about a week or two ago the weather was crazy. It was snow everywhere and mostly all the schools were shut down for at least two days.

Then something happened, it started raining a lot, and then the snow was gone. Now, I know you might be thinking what was so great or intriguing about that. Well, I am glad that you asked because I am excited to share with you.

 The next day, I started thinking about how the snow storm made people feel. People were frustrated because they couldn't leave the house, people didn't want to try to shovel all of that snow, people were worried would they be safe on the road if they did leave the house, and I am sure there were all kind of thoughts running across peoples minds. It really did look a mess outside, but I couldn't help think about how in one day that rain washed all the snow away and everything that we were thinking while the snow storm was happe…

Sometimes, You Have To Learn To Just Let Go.

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Have you ever wanted something so bad and once you got it, it was nothing like what you thought it would be? Furthermore, after you figured out that it was not what you thought, you still tried to hold on to it? Well, you are not alone, because I have too. One thing that I have learned and I am still learning is that sometimes you just have to learn to let it go. You see sometimes we try to mold and fix situations and people into what we want them/it to be even when we see it is not working. The end result is that it is hurts us because either we refuse to let go or we hold on to it for too long.

Just like some relationships, we see they are not working, but we hold on. Now, some relationships are good to hold on too, because relationships take time. How much time is up for you to decide though. If you are compromising too much of yourself, it will take a toil on you. We hold on to relationships for different reasons. Sometimes we actually believe they will work, sometimes we just ca…

It's Okay To Not Have All The Answers

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I just love that quote from Katrina Mayer, because it is true that we do not have all the answers. I often see many people that struggle with the choices that they have made over the course of their lives. I hear them say "if I had known this, then I would have did that" or "I knew I should have did that instead of this".

So many times we including myself, get so mad at ourselves because of the choices we have made in life. I want to encourage you to let you know that it is okay and it is okay because we do not have all the answers. If we never make mistakes, then we will not have anything to learn from. I hate to even call them mistakes because they are simply life lessons.

 I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God allows us to make some choices so that we can learn from them. It would be nice if we could just learn from what others have done, but we don't always learn like that. Sometimes we have to make a decison that does not give us the…

Obtaining True Happiness

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Today, decided to post a video, that I did a couple of months ago. This video is about obtaining true happiness. Although, I cannot tell anyone how to truly obtain it, I can give my view on it. When I say true happiness, I mean being happy inspite of circumstances. I mean being happy even when you do not want to be or feel that you cannot be. How do you obtain your happiness? I would love to hear from you. I hope you enjoy the video.
                                         Nicole Lofton



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It's Okay To Struggle

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I thought about sharing a quote and maybe I will, who knows? I am just free-styling this post right now, but this was on my heart. A lot of times when we are struggling, we tend to think that it's a bad thing and although I know that it feels like it, struggling is actually a good thing. Like Frederick Douglas said and I quote "No struggle, no progress". 

Being a Domestic Violence Advocate or really just an advocate in general and a Christian Life Coach, my view on many issues has changed. I have learned to view the most negative things in a more positive way in order to stay encouraged and it works. I mean truly if everything was going the way that we wanted it too and nothing ever went wrong, what would we really learn from that? All we would learn is that we can have everything that we want, how we want it, and when we want it. We would also learned that we do not have to earn or work from anything. Just like a spoiled child, they get everything they want and if they a…

What If We Put More Strength Into Loving As We Do Into Fighting?

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This happens to be one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I absolutely love quotes because sometimes they say they words that I couldn't think of myself. In the title of the post, the word "fighting" is included. I want to first explain what I mean by fighting. When I say fighting, it does not just mean physical, it could be as simple as arguing. After all an argument usually comes before a fight, but a disagreement usually comes before an argument.

 I find that most times people find it hard to distinguish the words disagreement and argument. Just because you disagree with someone does not mean that you are arguing or even that you have to argue. Over the past two months, I started thinking about how different things would be if we just accepted each other for who we are. We have started to become a society where people cannot have an opinion without someone saying something negative about it (thank God for blogs right?) lol.

I started to wonder why …

Let Your Loneliness Lead You To Greatness

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At some point in time, we have all experienced a feeling of loneliness. For some, loneliness can be too much to bear. When we become lonely we start to replay memories of the past and we start to feel sad. Sometimes loneliness can also lead to depression.

This post is not just for those who have experienced or witnessed domestic violence, this post is for everyone. I wrote this post to encourage you because I too have experienced loneliness, but I believe that we can use our feelings of loneliness to lead us to greatness. Look at this quote below by Mr. Yousuf Karsh. I believe what He says is so true.

I believe that God uses loneliness to get us closer to Him, He uses loneliness to speak to us. Sometimes you need to be alone in order to think clearly. I know for me personally, I have prefer to be alone when I am working. It gives me time to focus and to relax. How can you fully create in a environment full of noise?



I would like to share another quote with you, this is a quote that…

Real Love Makes You Better, Not Worse.

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Yesterday, I was really thinking about some things, especially when it comes to relationships.I was thinking about how some relationships that we enter really bring us down and what we thought was love was really lust. Below is a tweet that I tweeted from my organizations account yesterday.




Real love will make you better not worse
— F.A.C.E. I.T. (@FACEITORG) January 1, 2014
You see, sometimes we just enter relationships that we were never meant to be in, but they also teach us a lesson. If ever you get into a relationship where you are constantly losing out on who you are then that is not the relationship for me. I find most times though that there was already some sort of insecurity that we already had that opened us to wanting to be in that particular relationship. It is important that we come to learn what true love really is. It is so easy for someone to throw the love word around without putting any meaning to it. Love is a verb, not just an emotion. Love is not just something t…